The Diary of Sara Belle - Part 19

As promised, here's a long part :* xoxo A&H




Sara's Perspective

Flashback:

"Sara.." 3abood muttered.
I smiled, "Yeah 3abood its me!"

He did not reply..

That's when I realized Abdullah was asleep.

"3abood?" I double-checked.

No answer.

Then he seemed to mutter something in his sleep again.

I listened carefully but could not hear him .. I stood there in silence when he spoke again..

"Sara.." He muttered. "MY Sara.."

End of Flashback



"Love?" I whispered to myself. No.. No, I can't love Abdullah. I can't love anyone right now.
I'm just not ready..

I looked Abdullah in the eyes, who was gazing deeply into mine, waiting for a reaction. I can't do this. Not right now, not with Abdullah.. I couldn't react, I panicked and said, "It's getting late.."
The stars that shone in his eyes faded into pitch black, and I could feel his heart sink. "I really have to go."

Abdullah just sat and stared. "I'm sorry" I said, and struggled to release his hand from mine.

I ran home as fast as I possibly could. I'm just so sick of drama, I'm just so sick of life, I want it to be over as fast as possible.
I burst through my bedroom door, and cried. Just cried. I wept so much my eyes hurt, I started to lose my breath, choking on every sob. I went to the one person I knew I could turn to, if only it was a person. My diary.


Dear Diary,
Please, please forgive me. I know I've been neglecting you, but I've so much to tell you. My life is over, diary, or at least, I want it to be.
I found out that Saeed has been using me for his own personal amusement, and now I've nothing. Nothing, and no one to turn to. To be honest, I don't really know why I'm surprised; Jewels tried to warn me, so did Abdullah. I just didn't listen.. I never listen..

But that's not really what I want to talk to you about. Diary, I'm confused. I trust your judgement and I need your help.
Abdullah just told me he loves me.. I'm not really sure how to react. My mind is telling me to stay away, but my heart is urging me to give it a try.
I just can't afford to get hurt again. I just can't..

Maybe deep down I really do love him.. Maybe--


I was interrupted by my parent's loud knocking on my bedroom door.

"Just a second" I yelled, apparently for no use. My parents barged in despite my need for privacy. "What's going--?" I said but was interrupted by my parents' loud yelling. I could barely make out what they were saying.

"RELAX!" I yelled. There was silence. "What did I do?"

My mother laughed sarcastically. "What did you do?" She asked. "What didn't you do?!!!" She corrected me.
"Take it easy mama!" I tried to calm her down. "Baba shsalfa??" I turned to my father, who would hopefully be more informative than my mother.

Sadly, he was just as vague.

"I seriously don't know what you guys are talking about!!" I complained.

Both my parents finally cooled down long enough for them to explain.

"SOMEONE had deleted a certain voice message from a certain principal." My mother said. "Any idea who that might be?"

Oh crap. I can't bail myself out of this one. I just stood there in silence.

"Look! I can explain".. I couldn't explain.

"Well, then go ahead!" Said my father.

"Vandalizing school property. Skipping class. INJURING a student. Go ahead. Explain that." My mom interrupted.

"That's not what happened!! I would've told you guys but you wouldn't listen!" I complained.

"Oh, stop it with your excuses!" They shut me down.

"This is what I'm talking about!" I protested.

My father stomped out of my bedroom angrily. My mother looked away and sighed in disappointment.

"That settles it." My mother finally spoke after a long agonizing moment. "You're going to grandma's tomorrow"
"But--" I started to protest. "No buts."
"Mama! Grandma lives in SPAIN!" I said, almost crying. But my mother had made her decision, she'd started walking out of my bedroom.

"Start packing!" She demanded as she marched out of the room.

I grabbed my diary, ready to pour my heart out, but I threw it away and kicked it under my bed. Not even my diary can get me out of this mess.

This is it, my day has ended and I had to sleep. "Bed time" as my mother used to call it. Oh, how I dreaded the upcoming morning, for it will determine the rest of my life. What's going to happen to me? What about Abdullah? *Sigh*
But after all that had happened, a good "bed time" is probably all I need. For, my bed time is what wakes me up in the morning, and look forward to every single day. It gives me hope, it gives me dreams.. I wouldn't mind falling into deep, eternal sleep, for my dreams were sweeter than life itself..